I’m in a bit of a funk right now. There’s really no tiptoeing around that fact. I could list the reasons why and that list would run a mile long, but it inevitably comes down to one thing.
I miss freedom. And I miss the uncertainty that freedom brings, because sometimes, uncertainty is the catalyst for your most exciting memories.
I’m not one who enjoys being still. Quiet nights at home? I can deal with them but I’d rather not. Give me a sport to play, a movie to watch or a random car trip, please. Maybe I’ve got some serious ADHD going on? I don’t know. At this point, I just thought there’d be more. But here I am, at 25 – working every weekday, crashing when I get home, and going out on the weekend to forget about the past five days.
I despise this cycle. Falling into it has left me feeling like I’ve given up, like I’m not living life to the fullest. And I understand, sometimes this path is necessary. It’s a sacrifice you make to pay your way through night school or put food on the table for your kids. I, however, have no such tie-downs, so I’m left wondering – what on Earth am I doing? The answer? Trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. Trying to make my wishes and desires conform to what the world thinks is “responsible”.
Somewhere in between my usual outing downtown on Friday and reading Vagabonding on Saturday, it hit me. Things have gotten far too routine for me to bear and I need to do something drastic.
By the time this post goes live, I will have given my two-weeks’ notice. I will go back to freelancing and consulting from home, just as I did last year – but with a twist. My work is location independent, and I plan on taking advantage of that. Fully. I’m not handcuffed to a desk here or anything. What’s stopping me from working from the library or a cafe? Or, to be a bit more wild… Thailand? Nothing really.
So here I go.